Humorously Yours

Dear Friends

Happy New week

Some humor

Accent counts. A man goes into a shop in Kolkata and asks the sales lady, "Can you show me some Shaarts."  

She replies, "Sir, are you Bengali or Punjabi?" 

The man says, "How does that matter?" 

And she says, "Sir, if you are Bengali I will show you Shirts and if you are Punjabi I will show you Shorts"

Now one can understand why the British shifted the capital from Calcutta to Delhi in colonial India.

Because they simply got sick and tired of the Bengalis saying:

*"GOD SHAVE THE QUEEN!"*

Sarcasm intended

My baby is 2 months old. When should I let him join classes for IIT?

Well, it’s too late for him; he should have joined it the day he was born.

There is no hope left for him now, but you can just hope for another baby.

In case, a new baby is born, here’s what you need to do...

• During pregnancy, you need to eat all the pages of class 11 and 12 physics, chemistry and mathematics of all the books available on the internet especially NCERT

• Your husband needs to write all the formulas on bread and eat it.

• You need to regularly visit the IITs and give some bribe to them every month about 20–30 lakhs.

• You should move to Kota immediately.

• Everywhere on the walls formulas and important notes need to be written.

• Not to forget you need to daily attend lectures for 20–22 hours.

• You should also once a month call a pandit for doing puja in your home so that your baby can concentrate properly.

• Make sure that your neighbours also want to get their babies into IIT so that there will be like-minded competition.

• Don’t forget to drink 10–12 cups of coffee and 5–6 cans of Redbull in order to supplement the energy of your baby.

• No sort of human and electronic interaction is allowed, not even for a phone call.

If you follow all this, then on the day of his birth, he will be able to write JEE Mains, and JEE Advanced, achieve AIR 1 in both and get admission on the same day.

If he manages to get admission he will be given Param Vir Chakra, Bharat Ratna, Nobel Prize and have his name in the Guinness Book of World Records.

Also be prepared to handle the media channels, newspapers and the coaching institutions for getting your baby’s interview.

Kind Regards